Confidence and body image

Western society is obsessed with body image. Women want to be thinner; men want to be more muscular. Dr Sandra Scott suggests that we need to be comfortable with the shape we are and stop chasing unattainable ideals.

In western societies the media is full of pictures of ‘ideal bodies’. The ‘perfect’ male is handsome, tall and muscular and their ‘perfect’ female equivalent is beautiful, firm and seemingly impossibly thin – often with disproportionately large breasts. These ‘perfect’ people are seen to have happiness, wealth and partners. The subliminal message is ‘be like this and you can have these things too’. This is what creates the pressure in most people – aspiring to these idealised body images. We want these things and we think this is the way to get them. This pressure affects a lot of men and women and, increasingly, boys and girls. A whole host of studies have shown most men want to be ‘beefier’ and most women want to be slimmer. An alarming amount of young people think they’re too fat, go on diets and skip meals.You’re more than your imageMany people ignore the fact that the idealised body images that surround them are just that – idealised – and actually unattainable for most of us. This means they find themselves on a relentless pursuit of the elusive perfect figure – which just leaves them chronically dissatisfied with their appearance. This can lead to poor self-esteem and a lack of confidence.It helps to put the whole issue into perspective, remembering you’re not alone. The vast majority of people don’t have (and won’t ever have) these perfect bodies either, but what does that really mean? The truth is that it doesn’t actually mean you can’t have the positive things we associate with these images. This is a fallacy that started in Hollywood – and it should remain there.The biggest myth is you can’t be considered physically attractive without fitting into this mould. There are many ways to be attractive beyond the stereotype. It’s certainly not always the best looking person that gets the girl or guy.Most of us are much more likely to talk and get to know somebody who is friendly and approachable rather than a more physically attractive self-centred person. Our personality and behaviour count for a lot. We need to accept ourselves for who we are and what we’re meant to look like. Our aim should be to be the best and healthiest we can – we need to realise that this is the ‘perfect’ us.Value yourselfRecognise your attributes and make the most of them rather than dwelling on imperfections. By all means eat sensibly and exercise to have a healthy body – but also have a healthy mind. Your attitude towards yourself makes a big difference. Lack of confidence in your appearance can lead you to behave in defensive ways that appear unfriendly and aloof, and this behaviour is likely to put people off rather than your appearance.Believing in yourself and feeling good about the way you look will help to automatically send off more positive signals about the person you really are. So don’t waste any more time trying to be a second class somebody else and get on with being a first class you!(Source: BBC Health: August 2004.)